Been a while

 Hello Readers,


      I'm sorry that it has been over a month since I've last posted, but things got hectic around here in our little world. Let me first preface this by saying that I had to go back to work to help pay bills. While at the start, Alan (my fiancé) and I both worked at the same time, I worked nights and he worked during the day. This did not last too long as gas was a struggle to keep up with and that his health was getting to him due to the stress of not having any help at work. On top of that, he had a really bad manager who would let her bipolar slip whenever she felt like it and that did not pair well with Alan's mental. So now, he's staying home and taking care of our child and that has released some tension on all of us. Since he does that for me, I can sleep more and at least it is a decent, unbroken amount. This is not always the case though, because toddlers are wild, and I know that my baby wants my attention sometimes. 


      While I do enjoy working nights because it isn't as busy as working during the day, I do have some struggles with it. A month into working, I am getting burned out and my depression and anxiety is bothering me some. Heightened by my monthly cycle, I am getting a sense of not belonging there and I'm just stressed over money since there was a new hire, so my hours are getting cut. The thing that gets me the most over stressing about money is that I'm tired of living check to check. Yes, I could have saved money when we actually had it, but what do you expect out of two almost 30-year-olds who haven't quite figured things out yet. I do know how to budget, though, but it's just barely enough to get me by. Same subject of depression and anxiety, but different note, I stopped writing the book I was working on back in December. While I do want to finish it, I'm not entirely sure if I want to pause that project to work on an old book that I started in 2017, but I probably will. 


      My ultimate dream is to become a published author, and while I technically am due to writing these blogs, I want to get books published and become famous. This is also a bit of an issue as I am probably my own worst enemy along with worst critic. I know my mom has always said to do whatever you set your mind to, but growing up poor I couldn't do certain things and that created a narrative in my head that I would not bring home money quick enough writing. While this is certainly true due to the long wait for publishing books and taking the time to write them, I also had the displeasure of constantly hearing my ex-stepdad bring the same exact reasoning. He was a real piece of horse crap that really didn't know how to be supportive if it didn't benefit him. But you know what, my depression is actually urging me to write because I do not want to live my life at a boring job that's not going to get me anywhere. It's the about the only thing job related that I would absolutely love to do, and I have looked up some literary agencies for when I'm ready to send my manuscripts in. I also have a plan to post my early drafts of my books to Wattpad, a free reading app that allows someone like me to post books and get feedback on them, which I took down the two unfinished projects that I had on there to focus on the ones I want to get out first. I would be able to get paid on there, but it's not my ultimate goal.


      Well, I guess this will be it for this post and I will definitely do better with getting on a schedule of writing. I hope that you all will follow me along on this journey and hold me accountable because you all see me before fame and are extremely beneficial to my success. Thank you all for the support so far.


   -Liz

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